CLAM JAM
by RC BOLDT
“Clam Jam”
Definition: the female equivalent of a cock block.
Example: You’re chatting with a guy you’re interested in and your friend comes along and lays claim to him.
“Clam Jam”
Definition: the female equivalent of a cock block.
Example: You’re chatting with a guy you’re interested in and your friend comes along and lays claim to him.
Maggie
That’s my life—except it’s worse. My friend who keeps “jamming” me is my gay roommate and if that isn’t a W.T.F. moment, I’m not sure what is.
Fact: He went home with three—yes, three—of the guys I had been so sure were into me.
Fact: He’s really pissing me off. I mean, hello? I’m trying to get back in the saddle, but I’ll never manage to get a boyfriend before the age of fifty if he keeps this up.
Fact: Secretly, I wonder what it would be like if he weren’t gay. Why do all the hot, sweet, tender-hearted guys have to be gay?
Fact: My gay-dar needs a serious tune-up.
Ry
The day I interviewed for the room to rent, everything changed. I knew I had met “the girl”, except there was one small problem: she didn’t want anything to do with men. I recognized a top-notch force field when I saw one. She’d been burned badly and didn’t want to deal with a heterosexual guy as a roommate. I could’ve turned around and found another place to live, but I wanted to live there—with her.
So I had to go “undercover”.
Fact: I’m in love with my roommate.
Fact: I’m a likely candidate for carpal tunnel surgery since all the action I’ve had for the past year has been my hand.
Fact: She’s going to hate me if I come clean now.
Fact: I’m not giving up. Which means, I’ll just have to continue to run defense until I figure out a way to get Maggie to see the “real” me.
The me that loves her.
The me that would never do her wrong.
Until then, I’ll keep running off every guy who shows any interest.
Until then, I’ll continue to Clam Jam.
REVIEW: 4.5 HILARIOUS STARS
"I'm sorry, but did my panties just go poof? Up in smoke? Because the look in his eyes made my hoo-ha feel like it was on fire."
I saw the synopsis for this book and immediately knew I wanted to read it. I mean, c'mon seriously....how can you read that and NOT laugh and wonder how it will work out?? From the get-go, this book had me giggling because of Maggie's humor, but also Ry's quick wit and comebacks. OMG...so freaking funny!! I'm a slow reader by nature since I like to absorb the book, per se, but I read this all in one day. I started early in the morning and ended late that night, but I couldn't put it down! This was an "ignoring life for the win" kinda book!
With a title like Clam Jam, I seriously had to wonder how crude this book was going to be. I didn't want some shock-jock style book. I wanted funny. I wanted well timed comedy, with some love and a little drama. Well, I totally got funny, and then some. This book read like a romantic comedy/chick flick mix and it was honestly the easiest read I've had all year. Ok, so it was my first read I have had this year, but I can promise you that I am glad I started my year off with this little ditty!! The humor was SO good. I'm still giggling while looking over my highlights and rereading some of the parts. There is so much to quote, but then I would give away too much. I seriously can't wait to gift out a copy of this one!!
Maggie's inner dialogue was hilarious. It was comical and entertaining, to say the least, and most definitely one that you could read over and over and not tire of it. I seriously mean it when I say I laughed good and hard while reading this book!!! She is so freaking funny!! Ry's devotion to Maggie was the perfect example of the right man doing anything possible for the one he loves. He makes me smile with everything he selflessly did for her....ok, and to her, but most definitely for her. This was unconditional love at it's finest. RC did a really good job making these two characters different and perfect for each other. I could see the caring side of Ry while dealing with the sarcastic side of Maggie. Total match made in heaven.
For the record, their sexy time was HOT. Very very hot....like, imagination running wild, lip-biting kinda HOT.
If my tongue had a voice of it's own, it would probably say something like, "Just the tip. That’s all I want.” The tip of my tongue tracing over Ry’s abs, that is. You know, just to prove someone Photoshopped him. Or not.
Because I’ll take one for the team. I’m a giver like that. People might even think of canonizing me as a saint after all this. Really.
~BEE
~BEE
PURCHASE
AMAZON US: http://amzn.to/2ircoKj
AMAZON UK: http://amzn.to/2h88wxp
AMAZON CA: http://amzn.to/2h7S11V
AMAZON AU: http://amzn.to/2h7XSEG
EXCERPT
“Ryland James!” I bang on his bathroom door, hollering loudly. “Did you eat the last—”
The door swings open, drawing my speech to a sudden halt because … ooooh, sweet, dripping wet abs.
My eyes are riveted.
He’s got a towel wrapped around his waist, and I don’t even realize I’m moving until Ry releases a sharp hiss at my touch. Because my finger is tracing over the slight indentations in his abdominal muscles.
“Um …” He clears his throat, his voice husky and deep. “Mags?”
“Uh-huh,” I murmur absently, my fingertip stopping one of the trickling droplets of water on his skin, tracing it down over his belly button, and—
His fingers grasp my wrist, drawing my hand to a halt, and my eyes dart up to his in alarm because crap. That was like an out-of-body experience.
“Oh, crap. I’m sorry. I just really, um … crap.” That’s all I can utter. Nonsense. No one would believe I have my graduate degree if they heard me right now.
If my tongue had a voice of its own, it would probably say something like, “Just the tip. That’s all I want.” The tip of my tongue tracing over Ry’s abs, that is. You know, just to prove someone Photoshopped him. Or not.
Because I’ll take one for the team. I’m a giver like that. People might even think of canonizing me as a saint after all this. Really.
Oh, and then … Abracadabra! Poof! He’d no longer be gay, profess his undying love for me, and wouldn’t ever leave me for another guy.
Or woman.
Wow. That scenario even sounds crazy in my head.
Shaking off my thoughts, I take one more glance down at his abs—just one more glance—and that’s when I see it.
“Oh, boy,” I breathe out. Ry is hard, tenting the towel, and I really want it to drop. Accidentally, of course. Like an “oops” moment. Totally harmless and innocent.
Oh. My. God. I’m a horrible person. I’m thinking of my roommate’s penis! My roommate who has quickly become one of my best friends.
Oh, the shame!
Where did this inner slut come from? It’s like she’s been lying in wait—for him, apparently.
But, really. I can take a little peek, right?
~MEET RC BOLDT~
RC Boldt is the wife of Mr. Boldt, a retired Navy Chief, mother of Little Miss Boldt, and former teacher of many students. She currently lives on the southeastern coast of North Carolina, enjoys long walks on the beach, running, reading, people watching, and singing karaoke. If you're in the mood for some killer homemade mojitos, can't recall the lyrics to a particular 80's song, or just need to hang around a nonconformist who will do almost anything for a laugh, she's your girl.
~CONNECT WITH RC~
ARC REVIEW
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