THE BROMANCE BOOK CLUBby LYSSA KAY ADAMS
The first rule of book club:
You don't talk about book club.
Nashville Legends second baseman Gavin Scott's marriage is in major league trouble. He’s recently discovered a humiliating secret: his wife Thea has always faked the Big O. When he loses his cool at the revelation, it’s the final straw on their already strained relationship. Thea asks for a divorce, and Gavin realizes he’s let his pride and fear get the better of him.
Welcome to the Bromance Book Club.
Distraught and desperate, Gavin finds help from an unlikely source: a secret romance book club made up of Nashville's top alpha men. With the help of their current read, a steamy Regency titled Courting the Countess, the guys coach Gavin on saving his marriage. But it'll take a lot more than flowery words and grand gestures for this hapless Romeo to find his inner hero and win back the trust of his wife.
Disclaimer: this is a jumbled mess of emotions and anger. This book didn’t work - as hard as I tried to make it work. This review is long and uncoordinated. ♥️
I've always been the type of person that has valued trust and honesty in a relationship (friendship/love/family/etc.). Always. I will never stray from that. I have also always believed that YOU are the one responsible for your own happiness and YOU alone. Having said that, I do not and cannot appreciate putting up a farce in order to "win over" someone if you cannot be true to yourself. What in the world am I talking about? Well, here comes a very unpopular opinion because this book struck a chord with me and it was not a good one.
First and foremost, let's get this out of the way: Lyssa Kay Adams can write. Her words had a good cadence and the flow was there. I actually enjoyed her 'voice' in that aspect because it didn't feel forced and it was a smooth read.
That's where my like ends.
I will never complain about someone's opinions or beliefs, because I will always have my own. But when you are complaining about an issue and then reversing and applying it to a storyline....well, that's when I have an issue, and therefore - an opinion. I wish I read her essay on "Addressing Toxic Masculinity" before I read this book. I would have known immediately that she was not the writer for me for this subject at hand.
Don't live a lie. Ever.
I am clearly not the intended audience for this book. I don't believe in allowing others to "offend" you, because that's giving them a power over you and your emotions that they did not earn. I do not believe in the strength of "toxic masculinity" and I am not a feminist. I know that is terrible to say and I won't apologize for how I feel just like I don't expect others to, but let me explain that little bit. If a man is too good for his britches and thinks his turd don't stink, well then he's an idiot. If he believes women should bow down to him, serve him, placate him for his ego necessities, that makes him a pig. I believe that men should open doors for women, but I also believe a woman is capable of doing it for herself AND for those behind her: it's called common courtesy. That's all. So I am of the firm belief that we are all equal and can do whateverthefuck we want to.
So while this book spouted off about men being embarrassed about drinking a PSL and how they had to "hide it" or that reading a romance book so they can "learn how to make a woman happy" - I just couldn't get on board with it once I got deeper into it. Because if you are embarrassed, you have no backbone. Stand up for yourself, and dare I say it: be a man. If you want a PSL, order it. Only YOU are allowing others to define you mentally, so that is crap. Why did we spend so much time discussing feminine vs masculine? I know, I know...it was the whole reason behind the book. But I didn't connect with the message. Maybe I took it too seriously. That's on me, I suppose.
Gavin's mouth dropped open. "You drink these too?"
Del dropped unceremoniously into a chair by the window. "I love them, but I'm too embarrassed to order them for myself."
Mack plopped down on the couch and kicked up his feet. "Don't be ashamed for liking them. The backlash against the PSL is a perfect example of how toxic masculinity permeates even the most mundane things in life. If masses of women like something, our society automatically begins to mock them. just like romance novels. If women like them, they must be a joke, right?"
So, anyway - I'm sure I've already turned off quite a few people because of my very opinionated opinions up there, but I don't like pigeon-holing people or ideas. I think it's ridiculous. I do. I really am an easy going, happy-go-lucky gal that enjoys my freedom, my strength, and my very masculine husband with a heart of gold that he has NO problem showing or "acting" out. Maybe I'm in my own little world, but this book actually pissed me off. By the time I got to about 20% - so early on!!, I knew that my patience was being tested and I couldn't sit around and read this with an honest, open mind anymore. It just rubbed me the wrong way, but I'll tone it down for my review.
The idea of the book somewhat intrigued me but didn't completely pull me in, so after a few of my blogger friends had read this and loved it, I decided to jump in. It’s a sweet book. It’s funny. It made me giggle in some parts and I definitely enjoyed reading it - until I didn't. I feel like all the bad thoughts overshadowed what could have been good about this book. I smiled mostly throughout and it was a nice departure from the heavier, more angsty reads I normally enjoy. The guys’ club felt like it was more akin to an AA/NA meeting (standing up and introducing yourself - explaining why you're there) because of how it all played out, but their seriousness about how important the club was and how this type of club saved their marriages really put a light and fun twist on the whole “alpha sports player” trying to stay happily married. This book showed these big burly men being super soft and so different than their outside appearances - soft and sweet, pumpkin spice latte loving, romance book reading softies. Is there anything wrong with that? Nope. Not ever going to say there is - and it was so different than what we usually see and read, so that was the main draw. While I can appreciate a man with a softer side (married him), he should still be who he is inside and outside of a private area (married him), yet also be a strong man with a heart and conviction (married him) and will stand up for what he believes in. It just didn’t gel that way in this story for me. It felt like they were hiding that softer, emotional side because they were embarrassed but only ‘played the part’ for their women. It left a bad taste in my mouth.
As for the characters. I loved the guys in the book club, and especially poor Gavin. He was in his own little world and didn't bother peeking out long enough to check on his wife, so he had a very hard lesson to learn and essentially correct, but I felt his honest pain for what had transpired and his desire to right all the "wrongs" he supposedly had. The guys had me laughing in some parts and they had me rolling my eyes in others - but overall, they had my attention and support for their cause. With Thea, I couldn't connect with her at all. I felt she was a very selfish and immature woman in some aspects, even though I’m sure there was more to her overall problems. I obviously saw her hold up because of her family and how she grew up, but with her strength and determination to "fix" what went wrong in her life - you'd think she'd have a better understanding of communication and hard work. She definitely needed counseling for a multitude of issues she harbored. I didn’t like the way she handled Gavin, nor did I like the way she blamed him for some of the issues while not looking deep within herself as well. I do feel that while Thea was justified in her fears, I feel that she was unjust in her actions - and I struggled with that immensely. Although Gavin was an idiot for his reaction to her first O - they both were immature in how it was all handled. But again, that’s a personal opinion and one I’m probably not qualified to give....but I did.
The reason given behind the separation was the hardest thing to accept and immature at best. That really bothered me. Yes, I’m married. Yes, I’m a mother. So yes, I feel like I had a somewhat emotional understanding of where Thea was coming from - but BUT for being 26, she really wasn’t being mature about it. There was the Perfect Storm leading up to this fight, though, and that I could see as it played out. Emotions were high, adrenaline was going - things were in disarray because of the excitement that surrounded the night. And then, when it all happened, I was left with a WTF moment.
This could have been funny. But I found it to be lacking, overall. The first rule of book club: you don’t talk about book club. That sounds like it would be FUNNY!!! Right? No. Before anyone says I missed the intended funny side of this sweet story, I assure you - I did not. I liked that side of it. For some reason, the 'message' was lost in translation of what I felt she was trying to relay and how I read it. Again, I wish I had read her essay "Addressing Toxic Masculinity" beforehand.
I more or less think this book is going to hit many people differently on the spectrum of loved it vs hated it for many reasons, one of which is the emotional side of a marriage being destroyed over something so fixable, all the while accepting the characters’ actions and their emotional fortitude. One I think lacked more than the other, but that’s *my* emotional two cents worth. It also has an underlining ideology worked into the whole ‘men reading romance books’ novelty that maintained a thought process that women and men can't/shan't do things equally and once again, assigning a gender allowance on it. Isn't that what the author is working against? No. Just no. Was this bad? Not entirely. I smiled a few times. Some of it was working for me - until it wasn’t. I was actually really enjoying this book until these rants about “toxic masculinity” started being thrown around, and then I realized I just couldn’t make it through this one with an honest smile on my face.
The storyline felt like it was contradicting on two very different levels. First, let's hide behind the fact that you like ‘feminine’ things (her words, not mine) - and then, now let's carry on perpetuating a lie by ‘learning how to flirt with a woman’ and acting some certain way to win her back. So, be manly and learn to flirt with your woman and be something you’re not - and don't forget to wink at her? Is that how this works? Huh. Gotcha. If you can’t be you, and they don’t love you for you, flirting with them and pretending to be someone you’re not will NOT work in the long run either, I can promise you that much. I know how I sound, but I'm having a hard time articulating how it read to me versus what I read. Can a man learn to flirt? Sure....of course. Do I love that side of it? Hell yeah, I do. I love a man that can flirt and wink at me and generally make me feel wanted and loved. But I guess the way it was being told and how it played out in the book was what turned me off. It just made me feel weird.
Maybe this book just missed the mark for me. Maybe I read it in a different voice than the author intended and that's why it sat awkward with me. I don't know, but what I do know is I rolled my eyes way too much while reading this one. I yell-discussed this way more than I should have with/at my poor husband. Who knew his eyes could get that big while listening to me react to a book that should not have caused this much of a reaction?
I knew I should have listened to my gut on this one. All this book really did was read to me as a woman writing about how she is empowering men to be softies, but it read like she was emasculating them and ‘putting them in their place’ and shoving feminist ideologies down my throat about how SHE perceives it should be. I felt like I was reading one woman's beliefs on how to best tackle this "masculinity problem" so rampant in our country - spilt as gospel, but read like an emotional rant. Here comes my opinion that will probably be said that I’m assisting the toxic masculinity BS. Be a man!! Step up. Be confident in your decisions - just don't be a douche! Just like anyone else, I can say screw you to the people that say I’m shallow because I read romance. I get to tell them to eff off - just like anyone else can. Just because I like it doesn’t mean you have to. There is nothing wrong with liking something, being male or female. Stop perpetuating that issue of gender responsibility requirements. Also, stop giving people power over your own emotions. You like it, own it!! Don’t be embarrassed and don’t give me some song and dance, woe-is-me BS about not being able to be true to who you are. That’s crap.
This book didn’t sit well with me. And it certainly didn't make my "pink parts stand at attention." (Again, her words, not mine.)
"Nothing on Earth is as strong as a woman who's good and fed up."
~BEE
The idea of the book somewhat intrigued me but didn't completely pull me in, so after a few of my blogger friends had read this and loved it, I decided to jump in. It’s a sweet book. It’s funny. It made me giggle in some parts and I definitely enjoyed reading it - until I didn't. I feel like all the bad thoughts overshadowed what could have been good about this book. I smiled mostly throughout and it was a nice departure from the heavier, more angsty reads I normally enjoy. The guys’ club felt like it was more akin to an AA/NA meeting (standing up and introducing yourself - explaining why you're there) because of how it all played out, but their seriousness about how important the club was and how this type of club saved their marriages really put a light and fun twist on the whole “alpha sports player” trying to stay happily married. This book showed these big burly men being super soft and so different than their outside appearances - soft and sweet, pumpkin spice latte loving, romance book reading softies. Is there anything wrong with that? Nope. Not ever going to say there is - and it was so different than what we usually see and read, so that was the main draw. While I can appreciate a man with a softer side (married him), he should still be who he is inside and outside of a private area (married him), yet also be a strong man with a heart and conviction (married him) and will stand up for what he believes in. It just didn’t gel that way in this story for me. It felt like they were hiding that softer, emotional side because they were embarrassed but only ‘played the part’ for their women. It left a bad taste in my mouth.
As for the characters. I loved the guys in the book club, and especially poor Gavin. He was in his own little world and didn't bother peeking out long enough to check on his wife, so he had a very hard lesson to learn and essentially correct, but I felt his honest pain for what had transpired and his desire to right all the "wrongs" he supposedly had. The guys had me laughing in some parts and they had me rolling my eyes in others - but overall, they had my attention and support for their cause. With Thea, I couldn't connect with her at all. I felt she was a very selfish and immature woman in some aspects, even though I’m sure there was more to her overall problems. I obviously saw her hold up because of her family and how she grew up, but with her strength and determination to "fix" what went wrong in her life - you'd think she'd have a better understanding of communication and hard work. She definitely needed counseling for a multitude of issues she harbored. I didn’t like the way she handled Gavin, nor did I like the way she blamed him for some of the issues while not looking deep within herself as well. I do feel that while Thea was justified in her fears, I feel that she was unjust in her actions - and I struggled with that immensely. Although Gavin was an idiot for his reaction to her first O - they both were immature in how it was all handled. But again, that’s a personal opinion and one I’m probably not qualified to give....but I did.
The reason given behind the separation was the hardest thing to accept and immature at best. That really bothered me. Yes, I’m married. Yes, I’m a mother. So yes, I feel like I had a somewhat emotional understanding of where Thea was coming from - but BUT for being 26, she really wasn’t being mature about it. There was the Perfect Storm leading up to this fight, though, and that I could see as it played out. Emotions were high, adrenaline was going - things were in disarray because of the excitement that surrounded the night. And then, when it all happened, I was left with a WTF moment.
This could have been funny. But I found it to be lacking, overall. The first rule of book club: you don’t talk about book club. That sounds like it would be FUNNY!!! Right? No. Before anyone says I missed the intended funny side of this sweet story, I assure you - I did not. I liked that side of it. For some reason, the 'message' was lost in translation of what I felt she was trying to relay and how I read it. Again, I wish I had read her essay "Addressing Toxic Masculinity" beforehand.
I more or less think this book is going to hit many people differently on the spectrum of loved it vs hated it for many reasons, one of which is the emotional side of a marriage being destroyed over something so fixable, all the while accepting the characters’ actions and their emotional fortitude. One I think lacked more than the other, but that’s *my* emotional two cents worth. It also has an underlining ideology worked into the whole ‘men reading romance books’ novelty that maintained a thought process that women and men can't/shan't do things equally and once again, assigning a gender allowance on it. Isn't that what the author is working against? No. Just no. Was this bad? Not entirely. I smiled a few times. Some of it was working for me - until it wasn’t. I was actually really enjoying this book until these rants about “toxic masculinity” started being thrown around, and then I realized I just couldn’t make it through this one with an honest smile on my face.
The storyline felt like it was contradicting on two very different levels. First, let's hide behind the fact that you like ‘feminine’ things (her words, not mine) - and then, now let's carry on perpetuating a lie by ‘learning how to flirt with a woman’ and acting some certain way to win her back. So, be manly and learn to flirt with your woman and be something you’re not - and don't forget to wink at her? Is that how this works? Huh. Gotcha. If you can’t be you, and they don’t love you for you, flirting with them and pretending to be someone you’re not will NOT work in the long run either, I can promise you that much. I know how I sound, but I'm having a hard time articulating how it read to me versus what I read. Can a man learn to flirt? Sure....of course. Do I love that side of it? Hell yeah, I do. I love a man that can flirt and wink at me and generally make me feel wanted and loved. But I guess the way it was being told and how it played out in the book was what turned me off. It just made me feel weird.
I knew I should have listened to my gut on this one. All this book really did was read to me as a woman writing about how she is empowering men to be softies, but it read like she was emasculating them and ‘putting them in their place’ and shoving feminist ideologies down my throat about how SHE perceives it should be. I felt like I was reading one woman's beliefs on how to best tackle this "masculinity problem" so rampant in our country - spilt as gospel, but read like an emotional rant. Here comes my opinion that will probably be said that I’m assisting the toxic masculinity BS. Be a man!! Step up. Be confident in your decisions - just don't be a douche! Just like anyone else, I can say screw you to the people that say I’m shallow because I read romance. I get to tell them to eff off - just like anyone else can. Just because I like it doesn’t mean you have to. There is nothing wrong with liking something, being male or female. Stop perpetuating that issue of gender responsibility requirements. Also, stop giving people power over your own emotions. You like it, own it!! Don’t be embarrassed and don’t give me some song and dance, woe-is-me BS about not being able to be true to who you are. That’s crap.
This book didn’t sit well with me. And it certainly didn't make my "pink parts stand at attention." (Again, her words, not mine.)
"Nothing on Earth is as strong as a woman who's good and fed up."
~BEE
~MEET LYSSA KAY ADAMS~
Lyssa Kay Adams is the pen name of an award-winning journalist who gave up the world of telling true stories to pen emotional romances. She’s also a diehard Detroit Tigers fan who will occasionally cheer for the Red Sox because her husband is from Boston.
Lyssa lives in Michigan with her family and an anxiety-ridden Maltese who steals food and buries it around the house and who will undoubtedly be a character in a future book.
Things Lyssa loves: Baseball pants, mashed potatoes, and that little clicking sound that scissors make on the cutting table at fabric stores.
Things she doesn’t love: Mean people, melting ice cream cones, and finding food in her underwear drawer.
~CONNECT WITH LYSSA KAY~
Lyssa lives in Michigan with her family and an anxiety-ridden Maltese who steals food and buries it around the house and who will undoubtedly be a character in a future book.
Things Lyssa loves: Baseball pants, mashed potatoes, and that little clicking sound that scissors make on the cutting table at fabric stores.
Things she doesn’t love: Mean people, melting ice cream cones, and finding food in her underwear drawer.
~CONNECT WITH LYSSA KAY~
ARC REVIEW
AFFILIATE LINKS USED
NO GIVEAWAYS FOR DNF REVIEWS
This book definitely doesn't sound like it's for me. Your review is amazing and it sucks that this didn't work out for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mandy. I was hoping it was more of a fit than it was, but moving along.
DeleteYou made some extremely great points here and some stuff that I didn't see too. What I love about all of us is how different our opinions are and how one person can read a book and love it while someone else hates it. Loved the rant and you had some really great points!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Caffeinated Fae.
DeleteI am really bummed this didn't work for me....but I'm also hiding in the corner because this review is a complete purge of thoughts. HAHA!! I did enjoy her flow, but the "message" and the way she told it just didn't seem to connect with/work for me. Oh well, next time.
I think the rant and purge of thoughts is the best way sometimes!
DeleteThanks, Caffeinated Fae!
Delete