SERENADING HEARTBREAKby ELLA FIELDS
My first love was my brother’s best friend.
A lead singer in their band.
A picture of rugged perfection.
And a drunk soul mate who couldn’t commit.
My second love was an arrogant baseball player.
A player in every sense of the word.
A smooth-talking, reliable best friend.
And a chance at something beautiful and true.
The problem with having a first and second love?
That would be loving them at the same time.
My story isn’t some sexy triangle.
It’s exquisite agony.
Fate gave me two men to love,
but none of us knew which one I could keep.
"We were never supposed to make something out of moments."
I'm writing this review with a slightly broken heart. I sat for a few minutes with my head in my hands, pondering....thinking....mulling over what I just read, wondering why the heart is a warrior the mind chooses to battle. I went in knowing this was a triangle, and if you've followed me for any amount of time, I've made no secret that this is my favorite kind of story/trope because the pull between two lovers gets me every time. There was nothing different about this book in that aspect. Ella Fields sits very comfortably in my Top 5 Favorite Authors and this book is the exact reason why. No matter if I was #TeamRocker or #TeamBaller, the turmoil and heartache Stevie went through to get her HEA astounded me. I feel like she was the strongest woman mentally - but emotionally, she was beaten down and thrown around. I definitely can admire her tenacity, but I can also say I understand her. One hundred percent understand her. I'd be Weak too, girlfriend. Weak with a capital W.
Fields is brilliant with her emotional manipulation, as well as her storytelling abilities. I don’t know how she makes it to where she can tell a full story when I’m only a quarter of the way through, but knowing there is more to come is what scared me the entire ride. I was so immersed in this book, in the emotions, in the pain. The desire and need her characters ached for was tumultuous at best. It was poetic. It was, quite literally....heartbreaking.
"In case you haven't noticed, you're kind of really fucking beautiful."
In one breath, I'm smiling.....a few pages later, my heart is breaking. I just couldn't reconcile my heart with my mind. This was truly a mess for my mind and heart from the first page until the very end of the book. I was clinging to hope until I turned the very last page. That is what Ella did to me. That is why I love Ella's words so much. It's because it's not always easy and it's not always clean, but it's always meant to be.
"He was a drug, and I'd constantly relapse whenever he was made available to me."
If you aren't a fan of a messy kind of love, you know the kind: the drop down, drag out, break your heart kind of love, then this might not be your cuppa. Ella writes the BEST messiest love. The best. She can give us dirrrrrty like no other. Not dirty as in hot, sexy dirty - although she most definitely can do that. I simply mean, it wasn't a clean read for the heart. My heart got muddled, and if I was having a hard time with some of the actions and reactions going on in this book, I can only imagine Stevie being emotionally connected to both men and being lost in her world. I feel like I lost a piece of my heart in this story. I don't think I've ever walked away from a triangle wishing she chose the other. Does that mean I am mad at the outcome or the book? Hell no. Quite the opposite. That just means Ella took me to hell and back, and that road was a long and bumpy one. But this is also why I love triangles.
"We don't choose who and what we fall in love with, even when it's a hazard to one's self."
Ella's depth in her books amazes me. She gets to the nitty-gritty, deep underbelly of emotion and just dissects it until my heart is just putty, malleable with her words. She nails the depth every time. I never go into one of her books and walk away having not felt it. This one, I felt it on every level and it will sit with me for a very long time. I love when an author can manipulate my emotions with their words - in book form only, obviously. And Ella does that extremely well.
"You didn't forsake the soul to save an organ. Hearts had an expiration date; the soul was immortal."
Here I was, completely excited things were going the way I was hoping, but then she threw in twist after twist until my heart inevitably broke and waited for reparation. I am still sitting in somewhat of a fog, heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken. The title of this book is so aptly named, it's truth on every level. Turmoil, anguish - I'm feeling it all. I need someone to take all this pain, all this heartache, and dispose of it for me. Kthxbye.
"Forgiveness was a desperate heart's mistake."
~BEE
I'll probably gift way too many copies.....you know, so you can suffer with me.
Ella Fields is a mother and wife who lives in the land Down Under. While her kids are in school, you might find her talking about her characters and books to her two cats. She's a notorious chocolate and notebook hoarder who enjoys creating hard-won happily ever afters.
~CONNECT WITH ELLA~
❤❤❤ Love this
ReplyDeleteWow! Okay so I wanna read this now but sacred a bit...no a lot coz I don't know if my heart can take it. I love Ella and I know you will be there to hold my hand.
ReplyDeleteThis book was amazing!
ReplyDelete